Other people's emotions are theirs


I listened to a Toastmasters Contest speech on this topic last year.....very interesting!


Unfortunately, our subconscious is not that objective/rational and is easily affected by other people's emotions! So what can we do? Be more aware that something has triggered our emotions? Then, remember that our rational mind has the power to support us to choose our own emotions, and that individuals are responsible for their own emotions. This is not easy, but perhaps is the rationale for adults having a brain containing feelings and critical thinking so we can be more balanced.

There is always the potential for disconnect in a collaborative situation. For example, one person being aloof/uncaring while another naturally takes a caring attitude can affect their relationship. To work with others we need to know that everyone is different, but we only have to agree how we work together on the task we need to work together on; we only need to have a collaborative relationship for that task.

In a high performance team, it's nice to have a close relationship with other people because it's safer to air when we're not happy with something; we have an emotional bank-account with other team members that is well in credit! The professional coaching movement is very clear about contracting and ethics. I've learned that a coaching relationship can we discussed and be renegotiated at any time. Why is it that we rarely renegotiate understandings outside coaching, but rather make assumptions about our relationships? Do you know the relationship you have with other people and how much do you negotiate?


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Tel. 07793 745450 

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